Body Meeting

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the brain , "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood , "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum And insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood Was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.


The Moral of the story? The asshole is usually in charge !!

Anger Management

A young guy was complaining to his boss about the
problems he was having with his stubborn girlfriend.

"She gets me so angry sometimes I could hit her," the
young man exclaimed.

"Well, I'll tell you what I used to do with my wife,"
replied the boss.  "Whenever she got out of hand I'd
take her pants down and spank her."

Shaking his head the young guy replied, "That doesn't
work.  Once I get her pants down I'm not mad anymore."